How Far Would You Go to Look Cool?

I admit it.  I don't always 'get' people. Sometimes I really don't understand some people's need to fight, argue and disparage others, even in the face of clear evidence that they are wrong.  Bring up any topic on social media and people will line up on either side and sling mud at each other, even at those who lay a subject out clearly and without anger.  It doesn't matter if a solution is right there in front of them, with statistics and truth easily accessible, they fight on, usually resorting to name-calling, vicious insults, and cry "freedom" when all else fails, because, well, we are surely free to remain stuck in our ways, heels dug in the dirt out of defiance and spite.  I stay away from debates on social media as a general rule; it is ridiculous to argue with someone who has nothing better to do, and wants to scream obscenities ALL IN CAPS with poor logic and punctuation.  No thanks.

But I witnessed an ongoing thread on FB that bothered me deeply, so I decided to bring the subject here, and examine it.

The subject was a photo of a tiny girl, age 6, riding a huge horse in a barrel pattern.  This is an itty bitty girl, much smaller than my own 6 yr old son, and the horse, who is really getting at it as it rounds a barrel, is a large stock type horse.  The worrisome part is that this child is riding without a helmet.  Many people brought up this fact in the comments, and each person who did was immediately attacked with such viciousness that it was as if they had suggested something vile upon this little girl.  Some of the replies to those who suggested that she should be wearing a helmet: "Real cowgirls don't wear helmets," "we stay away from people who wear helmets because their horses are always spoiled rotten and they can't ride" and "this little girl is a better rider than any of you who wear helmets" and my favorite, "All you granola crunching, mini van type idiots stay out of this!!!"  Over 28,000 comments, which were split down the middle, going back and forth between rationality and ugliness.

I have written about my opinion of helmets before, but I'd like to re-visit it in response to the sheer voracity of some who are not only resistant to putting them on their own or their children's heads, but also who treat those who choose to protect themselves by wearing one so incredibly bad.

For those who say "we didn't grow up wearing helmets, and we survived,"  you need to wake up - it's 2013.  There are a LOT of things that we didn't do 'back in the old days,' such as use car seats, wear floatation devices, or disinfect medical instruments, that help our species survive better.  Hopefully, we are evolving to take better care of the bodies we are born into and have a better understanding of how and when injury is likely to occur.  If you grew up riding horses and never knew anyone who received a concussion from falling off their horse, either you didn't know that many people who rode, or you were just plain ol' lucky.  I have known many, many people who were excellent riders who had accidents resulting in concussions, some horrific and life-changing, and I know a similar number of people whose attending ER physician told them that the only reason they were still alive is because they were wearing a helmet.  The 'good ol' days' argument is worn out and tired.  Medical science's understanding of the brain and its fragility tells us that even one good thunk in the head can cause irreversible damage, resulting in memory loss, personality changes, depression, uncontrollable anger, higher rates of suicide over the long term, and death in the short term if the hit has caused even a small brain bleed.

For those who say, "a kid can get hurt just walking down the street, and are less likely to get hurt while riding a big ol' babysitter of a horse,"  I say, where in the heck do you live?  Benghazi? Islamabad?  According to the American Association of Neurological Surgeons, there were 14,446 reported head injuries from horseback riding accidents in 2009, accounting for 60% of all horse-back riding deaths.   A fall of just 2 feet can cause death from brain injury, and most rider's heads are eight feet above the ground.  In addition, children between the ages of 10 -14 are most likely to be involved in a horse-related accident.  Please read more about what the AANS says regarding head injury here, and scroll down to the section regarding horseback riding.  As my favorite instructor told me as a kid, "it isn't IF you are going to fall off, it is WHEN."  Hopefully it is when you are wearing a helmet.

For those who say "real cowgirls don't wear helmets," I suppose you'd jump off a cliff if all the other 'cowgirls' were doing it too?  This is peer pressure at its absolute worst; bullying for the sake of trying to look cool.  Some trends are not worth following, and I can assure you, you won't look cool after your traumatic brain injury leaves you in a wheel chair, drooling, not able to put together a thought.  What are you so afraid of?  That someone will see your helmet and assume that you are a beginner who can't ride?  Why not prove them wrong with your performance?  And perpetuating a tradition that puts people, especially children, at risk is far from 'cool.'


For those who say, "my horse is so good, he will take care of me," I say you are a fool if you think that a certain horse can make the experience 100% safe for you.  If you really are horse-knowledgeable, then you'd know that anything, literally ANYTHING, can happen while you are riding.  Some things may be the result of a horse misbehaving, but a vast number of accidents are due to miscues and mistakes by the rider or from simple, physical problems, like a horse tripping, slipping, equipment breaking, or something unexpected occurring in the environment.  I have been riding and training horses my entire life, and have done well at it....you have no idea how many times I have had horses fall while I was riding them.  [I'm sure there are some that will somehow blame this on my ineptitude, without having seen me ride or know any of the circumstances.  The truth is, many of them were young, inexperienced horses, and in other instances, I was asking the horse for a certain level of performance or speed, which is necessary when you are training horses.]

For those of you who say, "my kid is a great rider and therefore won't get hurt;"  I say, really??  The little girl I mentioned above was 6.  How long could she possibly have been doing any meaningful riding? A year?  If you knew an adult who came to you and said 'I have been riding a year,' would you consider them an expert?  I wouldn't.  There is no way that any child, no matter how good of a seat they have, can have enough expertise to avoid an accident.  Even adults who have ridden their whole lives can't!  Consider the case of Courtney King-Dye, an accomplished Dressage rider who suffered a TBI when her horse tripped and fell and she wasn't wearing a helmet - yeah, I know, all you 'real cowgirls' probably say she isn't a 'real' rider because she rides English.  She went to the Olympics for goodness sakes.  Let's see you do some one-tempi changes or a perfect cantering pirouette.

People, riding horses is an extreme sport, similar to skiing/snowboarding, riding dirt bikes, or skateboarding.  Helmets (and other protective gear) is commonplace in all these sports, except horseback riding, for the sole reason that it doesn't 'look cool.'  Parents pass down the tradition of being afraid of not looking cool to their kids, and stuff their ears with their fingers when confronted with the truth of the real risks they are taking with their children's fragile brains, and scream "YOU GO BABY! COWGIRL UP!!" as they launch them full blast on a 1,000 lb animal.  This doesn't look cool - it looks reckless.  It is one thing if you are an adult and choose to not wear a helmet, assuming that you understand the risks and don't care.  But a child must rely on the good judgement of his/her parents to protect them, as they have no way of understanding all the consequences of an action, nor are able to see way down the road and anticipate their future with diminished mental capacity due to a TBI.

As an instructor, I want that little girl to ride with all of her heart, learning lessons of perseverance, patience, fortitude and strength along the way, but NOT while risking a brain injury.  She needs her brain, for school, for work, for her relationships, for happiness.  If we can prevent an injury, why wouldn't we?  It is an easy thing to put a helmet on.  They are comfortable, come in pretty colors, and it would be extremely easy to make wearing one into a trend - IF we make taking care of oneself more cool than wearing a straw hat.

I do believe the tides are turning.....I know of a particular little girl, age 11, who shows reiners, and is an excellent hand.  She has been riding all her life, having come from a family with a long history in horses.  Both her father and her grandfather are well-known and esteemed in the industry, and have furnished her with a wonderful facility along with top-caliber horses, and many opportunities to compete.  There is no doubt that one day, this little girl will be either a top non-pro or a top professional, if she choose to go that route.  It would be easy for her to go along with the crowd and not wear a helmet - but she does!  Even when she shows!  I am very proud of her, and have relayed my support to her parents and grandpa, who love her to death and want the best for her - - which is the full use of her brain.

Paying Tribute to Greatness

To be lucky enough to ride and own a truly great horse is a blessing that may only come to a person once in a lifetime.  And if you are even luckier still, you might be able to have that horse its whole life, seeing their kind soul through every stage, from rambunctious youngster to eager partner to seasoned pro to kind and benevolent golden years.  I was that lucky and that blessed.  I owned and rode a beautiful black Half-Arabian/National Show Horse gelding named Jazz Festival +/ from the age of 2 until he died last August, 2012,  at the age of 29.  I'd like to pay tribute to his amazing life and share a bit of him with you.

Many of you know me from my efforts in breeding Quarter Horse reining horses, but I grew up showing Arabians and Half-Arabians, in western, English, sidesaddle, costume, driving and in hand.  At the time that I first met Jazz at Clinton Arabians where he had been bred, he was a gangly, long-legged two yr old, and I was an equally gangly and awkward 14 yr old.  Jazz was sired by the great NSH sire Islamorada, a Bask*son, and out of a lovely Saddlebred mare named Festival Music.  He really wasn't much to look at, at that stage, all legs, a long skinny neck and a very narrow body.  But as soon as I rode him, I KNEW.  By that time, I had ridden my share of English horses, and loved the really forward ones, and was mesmerized by flat-saddle type horses that could really move.  Sitting on him the first time, I was in awe of how his neck came straight up out of his shoulder, how he could sit waaaay back on his haunches and collect up.  And even without shoes on, he had a natural lift that hinted at what he was capable of.  He was so much fun!  And wild too!  He was like riding a rubber 2 x 4!  Better have a velcro seat to stick with him!

 Jazz as a foal, with his dam, Festival Music.

My family and I had been looking for a horse to 'move up' on.  My previous English horse was solid as a rock, but more of a babysitter, and we were ready for more shows and competition.  After riding several prospects at different trainer's barns, I knew Jazz was the one.  We just clicked, and we looked right together.  It wasn't an easy sell on my parents though; first of all, we had never purchased a 'Big' horse before, and second, they weren't at all sure that this string bean of a gelding was everything he was purported to be.  After some convincing, my parents relented, and I can confidently say, there were never any regrets.

 Showing Jazz in a Pro/Am class with Vicki Humphrey.

Jazz Festival and I made our debut at the spring shows in 1986, one of which being the prestigious Buckeye Show in Ohio, where we won our first Championship.  For the next four years I showed him all over the US and Canada, earning countless show championships, regional championships, two National Championships and a Reserve National Championship, in English Pleasure, both in Open with my trainer Vicki Humphrey and in Junior with me, and Pleasure Driving.  In the show ring, he was stunning to look at, gloriously black and shiny, long tail streaming behind, ears up, happy in his element.  This was a horse that LOVED his job, loved to go to shows, loved to be fussed over, loved to hear applause.  He loved applause so much that sometimes we would try to recreate the effect at home, assembling a crowd to cheer him on.  He would positively puff up when he heard whoops and hollers!  He stood about 15.3 or 16 hands, but cheer for him and he became a 17 hand giant!

After I went to college, Jazz started a new career as a Five Gaited horse,which he took to very easily and naturally.  Again, he was dazzling to watch - his rack was brilliant.  He ended up earning another National Championship and another Reserve National Championship with Vicki and with my sister Ashley.  At the end of his show career, Jazz had five National titles, a Legion of Supreme Honor (which is denoted by the +/ after his name), was a top all-time money earner, and was inducted into the National Show Horse Hall of Fame.

I got to show him Five Gaited a couple of times too.  FUN!

When I finished college, I missed my sweet horse and brought him to Arizona, where I lived.  While he was retired from the show ring, you can't just stop riding a horse that loves to be ridden that much.  So he became a lesson horse of the highest order, helping me to teach kids and adults to ride.  He was absolutely the favorite in the barn among the students; he was steady, he was patient, he wasn't scared of anything, and he was so affectionate, like a silly puppy.  He would do things like pull your hat off your head or even try to untie your shoes!  And if you really needed a horsey hug, he would let you wrap your arms fully around his head and hold him as long as you needed to.  Every person who walked into the barn got a nicker from Jazz.

 With one of his beloved students.  Photo by M. Burge.

Over the 27 years that I shared with Jazz, we weathered so many changes, so many victories and disappointments, and so many miles!  One of the biggest changes to our family happened in 2005 and 2007, when my two sons were born.  Jazz loved the boys; he would nuzzle them and gently accept treats from their tiny hands, and became their riding horse when they were big enough to sit up on him.  His gentleness and steadiness made the best kind of impression on them - it helped light the fire of horse-love that I hope will burn in their hearts their whole lives, like it has in mine.  His happy expression when he saw them let me know that he was as happy as they were with the arrangement.

Sadly, horses don't live as long as we do.  Or, they don't live as long as we wish they could.  Last August, Jazz colicked, most likely from a fatty tumor strangulating his intestine, and despite our vet's best efforts, there was nothing that could be done.  We chose to end his suffering at home, where he was happy and calm and near his best friends.  It was one of the worst moments of my life.  I could never describe adequately how sad I was, and still am, at his sudden absence, after spending so many years with him.  But as my wise niece reminds me, "Don't be sad it's over, be grateful it happened."  And I am so grateful.  That beautiful horse taught me so much, and elevated my mind as to what was possible for me.  He taught me to never give up, to believe in myself and face life with your ears up and a twinkle in your eye.  He was a once-in-a-lifetime horse, and will never be forgotten.

The last photo of our sweet Jazz, taken just 2 days before he passed.  That is one happy boy up there on his back!

The Value of Emotional Independence

The other day I was driving, and Brad Paisley's "Letter To Me" came on the radio, and I got to thinking some deep thoughts....

I have many young people in my life; family members, friend's kids, and riding students.  Occasionally, I get to have those important conversations where you have the opportunity to impart advice on their young minds, and hopefully, represent a positive influence in their lives.  This song made me think of a recent situation with a family member of mine who is struggling right now.  What would I tell a younger version of myself?  What important advice do you wish that you could give to the young people in your life that would save them some misery in the growing pains of life?

The thing that immediately came to mind is: be emotionally independent.  No one can "make you" happy, sad, angry, depressed, secure, insecure, nor is it anyone's responsibility to do so.   You are completely in charge of your own emotions.  Nor are you responsible for anyone else emotions either.  Someone cuts you off in traffic?  Doesn't mean you get to be a jerk when you walk into the office.  Someone criticizes a project of yours? Doesn't mean you are allowed to blow up.  Life a little tough lately?  Not an excuse to throw a temper tantrum.  Yes, there certainly are 'safe' places and situations in which you can vent, scream and yell in frustration, throw yourself on the floor and act like a total baby.  That is what close friends and therapists are for.  But even then, care must be taken so that when you are finished getting it all off your chest, you stand up, move on, and realize that you put yourself in whatever situation you are in.  You got yourself there, through action or inaction, and the only person who can change it is you.

How does this apply to horses?  A good horse trainer maintains control and responsibility for what happens when working with their horses.  If the horse makes a mistake, a good trainer doesn't get angry - unless it is at him/herself, for not being clear enough, not being prepared enough, for missing a step.  A good trainer isn't reactive, but proactive.  A good trainer recognizes their mistake, acknowledges it and corrects themselves.  You can't correct anything if you are always 100% sure that you are in the right. You never grow when you are always right.

This advice may resonate with some adults too. I am quite sure that the most successful business people are those that know how to maintain their composure and their emotional independence.  No one wants to invest in people who refuse to filter themselves, don't have any impulse control and have big emotional responses to everything that happens to them.  It reeks of instability, immaturity and self-centeredness.

Like anyone else, as a teenager I was dramatically emotional, but through several life experiences, came to this knowledge after getting repeatedly hit in the head with it.  We either figure it out, or we don't.  I feel like I have, or at least, I am conscientiously working toward it.  So that is what I would put in my letter to me...."get to that point sooner, so you can begin living YOUR life."

You Are What You Do

Good morning and Happy New Year!

I am a person who loves to learn new things.  I crave challenges and am always seeking out my 'next thing.'  Sometimes a phase of fascination can be for a relatively short period of time, such as reading a series of books that are related by subject, or my obsessions can be years long, where I am driven to master something and it becomes part of my personality.  My love of horses has been a lifelong passion, and a purpose that permeates nearly every aspect of my life.  Likewise, being a riding instructor, trainer, and breeder are all endeavors that generate a huge amount of inspiration, drive, and yearning to learn within me.  They are fascinations that turned into my reality because I worked at figuring them out, every day.

More recently, I began writing about horses.  This is something I have wanted to do for a long, long time.  What held me back?  Well, first, having the time to do it; I was out living it and doing it, and it seemed that writing about it (adding my voice and recording my experiences) wasn't as important when I was younger.  But I think I was also afraid to use that title...."writer."  Who am I to call myself a "writer?"  Aren't writers intellectuals?  Esteemed authorities on everything there is to know about their subjects?  If I boldly called myself a writer, wouldn't there be people, maybe even people that I really care about, who would laugh at me, or *GASP* even worse, tell me that I suck at it?

And then it hit me....no one is ever going to give you permission or approval to claim that title.  That is one you give yourself.  In everything that I have done - teaching, training or breeding, I have taken something that I loved, something that moved me deeply, and worked everyday to figure it out, learning to be better, and earning the title. It occurred to me that every time I write, I am earning the title of writer.  YOU ARE WHAT YOU DO.  If I regret anything, it is that there have been moments where I hesitated to take action because I was waiting for someone to give me approval.  So here's to a New Year; one in which I intend to give myself permission to be what is in my heart.

Who do you want to be this year?

Just Give It One More Try

Today I'd like to share a story about myself that might not seem immediately related to horses.  But then again, it might...

I grew up on beautiful Paw Paw Lake in Southwestern Michigan, a picturesque place where many of the grand houses are owned as resort homes by wealthy out-of-staters.  My family lived there all year long, and as teenagers, in the summer, we hung out with other lake kids, both local and city kids from Chicago and the like. We all had boats of some type and spent many gorgeous summer days cruising around, or hooking up with other boats of friends.  We also did plenty of tubing, but water skiing eluded me.  We did not own a speed boat*, and somehow, I just never got the chance to learn.  A friend of mine from Illinois happened to be a champion ski jumper - he even had a ramp in the water in front of his house - so I spent plenty of time watching other people water ski, but I was honestly a bit nervous to try.  This particular friend finally convinced me to try it with him, and so one perfectly beautiful summer day, I found myself at the end of a tow rope with two seemingly huge skis on my feet.

Now, I was an excellent swimmer back then, and I had good balance and strength from riding horses for many years, but still, getting up on those skis proved to be pretty difficult for me.  I crashed over and over and over.  I shudder to think how much lake water I probably swallowed.  Go ahead and laugh - it was awful!!  I flipped, flopped and was dragged.  I kept track- I wiped out 12 times.  At that point, my arms were shaking, and I hurt all over.  I was ready to get out, but my friend jumped in the water with me.  As we swam, we laughed at my last 'landing' and then he said, "Try one more time.  For me.  You are so close, I just know it."  Aaaahhhh.  Ok, fine.

Well, wouldn't you know?  I got up, that very next time!  It felt amazing - flying over the water, past the other boats, full of sunbathers watching ME ski by!  I probably looked like a gum commercial, skiing by with a big grin on my face!!  My friends drove the boat in the most gentle and steady manner so as to keep me up, and we managed to go all the way around the lake before my arms gave out.  I let go, and gracefully sunk down into the water, completely and utterly satisfied with myself.  I don't think I stopped smiling either, for at least a week! 

I didn't water ski too much after that, and if I tried it now, it would most likely take me more than 13 tries to get up, but I have never forgotten this lesson.  DON'T GIVE UP. You may make it on your very next try!  How many times are you willing to fall on your face for your dreams?

*Over the years, we had row boats, paddle boats, pontoon boats, and jet skis, but never a speed boat.  When my sister and I would beg our parents for a boat that we could tube or ski behind, my dad would say, "Well, we just need to sell the horses and the trailer, and then we could have a really nice boat."  Yeah, that shut us up fast.  haha!

The Art of Negotiation - Where To Begin

Trading horseflesh is a difficult thing to do; it has evolved into an art form over the past centuries in which humans have relied on horses as a means of transportation, conveyance of goods, war and prestige.  And while the means we have to help us sell horses has improved over the years, with the invention of photography, video and the internet, the actual dance of negotiation between the buyer and seller hasn't changed much at all.  It still comes down to how much the seller is willing to take, and how much the buyer is willing to give.  In between asking these questions and getting them answered, there is some gambling involved, some emotion, and even the occasional bluff.  For those who are seasoned horsemen, the task of getting a horse sold can be daunting, but laid in the lap of the amateur horse owner, it can seem overwhelming.

It is very easy for an owner in this situation to become overly reliant on a trainer's advice.  They are the expert in the business, and many new owners, or owners with a more casual interest in the sport, trust that trainers understand their wishes regarding their horses, and will translate those wishes into a smart sales plan.  They want to believe that the trainer has the owner's best interests in mind.  So often they are completely at the trainer's mercy; perhaps they live out of state, and can't see the horse in question first hand.  Perhaps they are too busy with work and life to spend much time analyzing the horse market and where their horse fits into it.  Or maybe they are in a financial position that requires an immediate dispersion of their herd.  In any case, the trainer is in the position of power in the relationship.

So you have a horse in training and for whatever reason, you make the decision that the horse needs to be sold.  You let your trainer know, and the very next question asked is, "What do you want for him?"  How do you proceed?  How are you supposed to know the 'right' price?  Setting the price too high could result in the horse sitting on the market, and setting it too low not only loses money, but also peace of mind.  The trainer is usually your link to expert opinion, but you still need to be aware that the trainer is in the business to make money.  If you have a good enough horse that the trainer would like to keep in his/her barn, they may want to find a deal where they can not only make a profit off commission in selling your horse, but also in future training/showing fees from another client in their barn.  It doesn't always pay to price a horse at what it is really worth when the future training fees far outweigh the sales commission.  This happens with breeding stock as well as performance horses.  Any trainer would love to come across a nice little broodmare sitting in someone's pasture  who is an own daughter of So-And-So where the owner has no idea of her real worth.  They buy her cheap and either keep her for themselves or resell her for big bucks.  There is a wide variety of scenarios that happen everyday in the horse industry, and while many of them are not illegal, there are plenty more that are borderline unethical.  Horse trainers come in every stripe; some are impeccably forthright in their dealings, others would sell their grandmothers for a buck.

The best advice?  Do your best to select your trainer carefully in the first place.  Take the time to talk to people in the area who can give you an idea of how a particular trainer operates.  Recognize that you have to be able to trust a trainer to make decisions in your place, and the placement of that trust requires more information than "a gut feeling."  Talk to vets, neighbors, former customers, current customers, local breed/show committee members.  Don't expect people to gossip with you, but if someone isn't a trustworthy business person or isn't kind to their horses, you will hear about it.  It will come out somewhere.  Here's another truth: when you first meet a trainer, and visit their barn, they are going to be nice to you.  Of course!  They want your business!  And while it is wonderful to be welcomed, remain circumspect.  Ultimately, this is a business transaction, and emotion should not be part of it.  So many people fail here... Every good horse trainer knows, "horses are bought and sold on emotion," so they become experts at playing those emotions for their benefit from Day One.  (Anyone selling luxury goods does...)  So try to find a trainer that moderates the relationship with their customers with honesty, and by listening to their conscience.

Secondly, take the time to know what you have in your stock.  The more information you have, the less you are at the mercy of someone else making decisions for you.  There are plenty of resources online for pedigree and performance information, and breed associations can direct you toward your appropriate source.  Check what similar horses are going for by searching ads, both locally and nationally.  Enlist your horsey friends' help, and get more than just a second opinion.  You may need several opinions in order to come to a true analysis of what your horse is worth, and where to market him.  If possible, find a professional horseman within your horse's competitive genre, and see if they would be willing to evaluate the horse for you.  This must be done delicately of course, as you do not want to insult your present trainer.  It is best to simply say, "I'd like to get several points of view before settling on a price."  Keep in mind that whomever you ask to give this second opinion should be a neutral party, so as to not create a competitive atmosphere.

Evaluating your stock requires an unbiased eye and an objective standard of judgement.  Your emotions toward the horse DO have a value, but only to you.  The buyer may also have emotions regarding your animal too, but don't count on them overlapping perfectly.  Do your best to honestly quantify your horse's strengths and how each of those strengths add up to a sale price. And be honest with yourself regarding your motivation to sell.  What is the most important factor in selling the horse?  If it is getting what the horse is truly worth to you, be prepared to wait it out.  If the most important thing is to get the horse sold quickly, give the sale a deadline, and adjust the horse's price accordingly.  Make sure your trainer knows that deadline.  If you are open-ended, the 'sale' of a horse can go on forever, and drain money away from your horse budget.

And lastly, don't be afraid to speak up and ask questions, and keep asking questions throughout the process.  Anyone who blows you off, or makes you feel silly for asking a question may not have your best interests at heart.  The next time you hear a horse trainer ask you "How much do you want for him?"  understand that they already know what he is worth.  What they are asking you is "where are we starting this negotiation?" It is OK to turn around and put the ball back in their court, and ask, "Well, what would you be willing to give me for him?"  but know that you will then be giving up the ability to name the starting point, which is where the advantage is.

I am hoping this line of thought gives you a wider perspective on negotiating a horse deal.  Soon, I will look at the art of saving face, and how that pertains to selling horses.  Thanks!  Have a great day!

PS - I really loved the scene in "True Grit" when Hailee Stanfield's character Mattie Ross deals with the town horse trader in a very mature fashion.  If only we could all be such great hagglers!!

Do-It-Yourself Meets the 21st Century

The world is getting smaller everyday, and the distances between us becoming shorter, thanks to the amazing technologies of mobile communications, satellites, and the world wide web. We are living in the future, folks, where we can remain in touch with anyone or anything we choose, with the touch of a finger or the click of a mouse. Information can be traded so easily that there is nothing in the world that you cannot access and learn through the Web, including horses. While the horse world has long used the internet to advertise and disseminate information, the opportunities to learn specific skills relating to horse training has been limited to more traditional, face to face instruction. Youtube overflows with videos demonstrating techniques, but in simply observing a video, the viewer is not able to ask questions, or have someone watch them perform the task on their own horse and give them feedback. Information only flows one way, limiting the learning opportunity.

A new online training system means to address this limitation – the Western Rider Development Programme. What if you could treat your desire to ride better the same as an online college course, but still get quality one-on-one instruction that was completely individualized to your needs? This is what the WDRP aims to do. They have organized a training syllabus into levels of ability that riders can ascend through at their own pace. Each individual lesson within the levels is fully explained in language that anyone can take out and use in their day to day riding. The rider may ask questions of a panel of experts, who are always available for support, and there are also articles that focus on the psychological aspects of riding. When the rider feels they are ready, they can submit a video of themselves performing the maneuvers required at that level, and can pass to the next level.

I am extremely pleased and proud to have been invited to contribute to the WDRP. I will serve on the panel of experts, taking questions and assisting in assessing individuals as they ascend the levels. I have already contributed an article, “Flexibility and Straightness,” to the website, so I invite you to check it out.

This innovative new way to learn about riding western will benefit many people; including those who live too far away from a qualified instructor to make lessons feasible, those who have a constantly changing schedule, or those who would like to learn new things and become a better rider on their own time. With internet/wireless technology, you can have the WDRP support and information with you anywhere! And for those riders who don't want to compete, they can earn recognition for the skills they master.

Judith Hubbard, one of the founders of the WDRP, says, “Here in the UK, and maybe in other countries around the world, it's not so easy to get access to regular western tuition. So we decided to find a 21st century solution - an internet-based training programme built around the www.westerntrainingonline.co.uk website. The website, and the online tuition provided, enables western riders to become more educated and develop their skills, no matter where they live. It's a simple concept, but it works! Over the coming months we'll add more to the website - there'll be more training articles as well as input from our growing panel of experts. And we're sure we'll be reporting lots of good news as our riders progress through the Programme!”

It is very exciting to share something in the horse world that is truly new and different and positive. I hope you take a look at it and give it a try.

Keeping My Balance

Good morning, everyone!  This is a different sort of blog entry this morning; instead of the editorial commentary that I have felt compelled to do as of late, this is more of a human interest piece - starring 'moi' as the human - about what I have been up to lately.

I have not been posting as many entries here, and yet, have seen my page views and followers steadily increase, and I want you to know that I deeply appreciate your support.  I have gotten so much positive feedback and encouragement lately, and through this, I feel the need to be the very best writer I can be.  I have also heard you tell me to write in other forms and have been exploring new avenues of opportunity.  I recently completed a tutorial on bending and straightness that will be included on the Western Training Online website on October 1st.  This is part of the Western Rider Development Programme, which I will be lending my services to on their panel of experts.  I am very excited about this - I think it will be a great way to have access to good training methods no matter where you are.  I find it just amazing that I am able to connect to like-minded individuals half way around the world, and contribute to constructive horsemanship!

In addition to the writing that I have been doing, I have been a VERY busy girl....most days begin long before sun up and extend far beyond sun down.  My oldest son has Asperger's Syndrome, and while he is doing fantastic in kindergarten so far this year, there are certain challenges to keeping things organized for him, and staying on top of all of his needs.  My youngest goes to preschool a couple of days a week, and seems to be in between being a big boy and still needing his momma.  We own ten horses, plus we have three training horses, so I have time demands out in the barn, along with weekly lessons to give.  There are meals to prepare, messes to clean up, paperwork to do, and of course, endless laundry.  On top of all that, I try to make sure that we spend time together as a family doing fun, silly stuff and do my best to remain connected to my friends.  I am always striving to stay balanced within all the demands, and it can be very difficult to accomplish, as many of you who are in the same position can relate. There ARE days when I manage to get everything done on my list, but many more when I do not.  I appreciate your patience!

I have so many great blog/article/book ideas that I have been working on!  The past three months of writing have taught me so much, and I am starting to feel confident in adding my voice to the discussion. I believe that everything happens for a reason, so I will continue down to explore and challenge myself, asking questions and finding topics that are relevant to the horse industry.

Thank you so much for reading!

The Four Agreements

To start this week out right, I sought out some inspirational words that might truly serve as a pep talk, for myself and for all of you.  Monday mornings usually hit me like a ton of bricks; you see, Sundays are my favorite days.  That is the day that my whole family is together and we can do whatever we want  - no school, no work (well, almost now work), no worries.  Monday begins the weekly/daily marathon of routine, and trying to get everything done, and done well.  It helps to have clear intentions and a path to follow, whether you are working horses, dealing with the demands of your family, your friends and your job, or simply aspire to improve your life as a whole.

This morning's clear path comes courtesy of The Four Agreements, as presented by Toltec Spirit.

The Four Agreements are: 

1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

I love that all of these Agreements can be applied to working with horses.  Being impeccable with your word could apply  to treating the horse honestly - not trying to trick the horse or falsely gaining his trust only to treat him badly.  As with people, we shouldn't take a horse's lack of understanding or ability personally either. Nor should we assume our horse knows something or can do something we haven't gone over.  Both 2 & 3 reflect that horse trainers need to let go of a certain amount of control over the end result.   Horses learn in their own time; we have to have the patience to move along one step at a time.  At each step we take, the last agreement, to do our best, should be our priority.

These Four Agreements are certainly applicable as well to how we conduct our selves within, and represent, the horse industry.  If every trainer, breeder, instructor, shoer, judge and competitor undertook these as their personal creed, imagine how welcoming our industry might be!  Imagine how well cared for our horses would be!

Wishing each of you a happy, productive, inspiring week ahead!

Risk and Reward

Following up on Monday's blog post, "How Young is Too Young?," I thought I would address another issue that plagues many parents who want their kids to ride - how should falls be handled?

Every sport has its risks, and while we would love, as parents, to eliminate those risks, we also want our kids to grow up unafraid, and as well-rounded, tough individuals.  After all, the world is a scary place, and the only way to learn to deal with fear is to face it, and find ways to conquer it that are age appropriate.  Sometimes, it seems that there is a parental Murphy's Law in place: try to protect your kid in one area, and they find a way to hurt themselves somewhere else.  So, to stay sane and live a full life, we must simply accept a certain amount of risk with nearly everything we do.  The trick is to manage that risk, and find a way to learn from accidents when they happen.

Kids who ride horses frequently, with the intention of improving as riders, will eventually fall off.  [I am not talking about riding on a dude ranch once a year, on pony strings where the horses are chosen for their ability to walk quietly and ignore pretty much everything.  Those experiences are expressly designed to keep riders from falling off, and protect the ranch owner's liability.]  Riders who challenge themselves to get better will have to do things on horseback that throw them off balance, make them push their limits and ask their horses to do things they haven't yet done.  But if you choose a good instructor, and have chosen your horse carefully, the risks will be stepped up incrementally, so that the rider can face their fear, challenge their abilities and achieve their objectives - earning the right to ascend to the next level.  It is like allowing your child to take surfing lessons.  You know when you sign up that they will be wiping out and swallowing some ocean, but that doesn't mean you allow them to go out when the waves are 20 ft high.  You trust your instructor, and your instincts, to have good enough judgement to gradually increase the difficulty, so that the child isn't discouraged and doesn't get seriously injured.

So, there you are, watching your child take a riding lesson; they lose their balance, and hit the dirt.  What happens next is critical to how your child will deal with every unexpected setback that they have with horses.  Try very hard to control your emotions.  Most likely, your child will be more shocked, scared or angry than hurt.  They may cry, but they will get up.  As much as possible, let the instructor handle it.  They have dealt with it before, and as long as they aren't upset with the child, don't intervene.  When I have had kids fall, I calmly get them to their feet, check them over to make sure that nothing is broken, and then give them a pep talk, getting them back on as soon as they have calmed down.  I have had parents really freak out; and it is usually those kids that lose confidence afterward.  When a parent behaves as if the child narrowly avoided being eaten by a shark, the child is left to wonder how dangerous this activity really is, and doubt their own ability to handle it.  And this isn't good for their self esteem in any area of their life.  There is nothing worse to a kid than knowing that their parents believe that they can't handle something, especially something that they really want to try.

In all my years teaching, only once have I had a child break something so that they could not get back on.  This young girl was an excellent rider - one of my best ever.  Her mom also rode, and the girl's horse was a small Paint mare that they had bred themselves.  They had been having some difficulty with the mare though; she was lazy and a bit spoiled, and was always looking for a way out of work.  As a mount for the daughter, she was very much 'on probation' but hadn't done anything at that point to make us think she was dangerous. 

The day she fell off, they had come to my house for a lesson, which had gone very well.  We worked the mare for about an hour, and finished on a good note.  I told the girl 'good job' and told her to walk the mare out on a loose rein.  I was standing near the gate, talking to the mom, and the girl was on the opposite end of the arena, walking calmly, when the mare took off bucking, for no apparent reason.  Being relaxed and not expecting something like that, the girl was thrown.  I went to the girl, and the mom caught the horse (there were other riders in the arena, so the loose horse was a danger to them) and then she walked over to us.  We were both calm and matter of fact.  The girl was only temporarily upset - I think we were all shocked that the mare had chosen to do what she did - but it was apparent that she would need an x-ray for her arm.  I had to hand it to her mom - 100% in control, she did not blame the girl or the horse, she spoke to her daughter calmly and very matter-of-factly.  We gathered her up, got her to the car, and I took the horse.  It ended up that she had fractured her wrist, an injury that is pretty common from horseback riding falls. 

After much soul searching, it was decided that the little mare wasn't going to be suitable for the girl, and despite their attachment to her, they decided to sell her.  After finding her a good home, they purchased a POA that, while not always perfectly behaved, was much more willing to work than the Paint mare.  When I asked the girl later how she felt about what happened, she told me that she wasn't afraid of riding, but rather, that she realized that falling off wasn't the worst thing in the world.  Yeah, it hurt at the time, but she healed up and was riding again before her cast was off.  Fear of falling wasn't going to stop her from riding.  And she still hasn't stopped.  Since then, I have moved and her family has moved, but we have kept in touch.  It has been fantastic to watch this beautiful young woman continue to ride and challenge herself.  She now competes in dressage and eventing, but also excels in life, in no small part because she isn't afraid to take risks, and because her parents lovingly allow her to take them.

Not matter what you do, life will throw you curve balls.  It is how you handle them that makes all the difference.  You will find that your child will flourish when you model for them how to handle adversity: by staying calm and cool, and by shrugging off the fear that cripples us.  Only when we face great risk do we reap great rewards.

How Young Is Too Young?

What is the proper age to start riding?  I have gotten this question over and over, and as an instructor and a mom, I recognize that the answer to this question is not black and white.  It is clear that no matter what sport you intend for your child to participate in, the earlier you introduce them to it, the easier it is (usually) for them to figure out proper technique, understand the basic rules and gain the confidence necessary to excel.  But there is a line that mustn't be crossed in pushing them too young.  If there is too much pressure to perform, the child will get weary of the activity quickly, and begin to rebel against the parent's constant direction and over-encouragement.  And there is, of course, social pressures too; for girls, all their friends may be into 'girlie' stuff, princess themes, clothes, and taking dance classes.  For boys, there is an underlying pressure to be a jock type, or a gamer.  Not all kids fit these stereotypes, nor does every parent want to cater to them.  Still, the pressure to start these activities starts young.

I am, by no means, knocking traditional sports or dancing - as long as the child really does love doing it, on their own accord, and they are doing well enough at it that it boosts their confidence, then good for them.  However, I am biased toward horseback riding, and other, more 'outside the box' activities for kids.  Being different from their peers gives them a chance to shine all on their own!  And horseback riding teaches things that learning to tackle or being a pretty dancer cannot.  Being a good rider teaches confidence, balance, bravery, persistence, subtlety, a sense of humor, gentleness, body awareness and control, and consistency, along with the double edge concept of respect for a large animal that could hurt you, but also empathy and kindness for an animal that is at your mercy.  Horseback riding allows kids to get dirty, work hard, and see immediate results for their work, but also long-term accomplishment of goals.  And all the while, they are building a love for nature and animals, and an understanding of the natural cycle of life.  Invaluable experiences in my book.

Many parents begin feeling the pressure of choosing a sport by the time their child is four.  And this is usually the age that they call me asking if they are too young to begin riding lessons.  My response is to start asking questions:  Can the child follow directions well?  Are they able to control their movements, with the strength to sit up straight and use their legs?  Can they handle the occasional frustration?  If the answer is yes to these questions, I usually invite them to come out for a lesson with the intention of just getting the child's interest going.  There is no pressure to perform any difficult tasks, rather, we just introduce them to the routine: first, we get our trusty lesson horse out and tied up, do some grooming, saddle up, lead them around, teaching them to hold the reins and say the word "whoa."  Afterward, they help unsaddle, and return the horse to their pen, where they are allowed to feed the horse a carrot.

Then, I tell the parent to wait and see.  Some kids will just think that the whole thing was a fun diversion, others will hang on to the experience and start begging to come back.  That will tell the parent how much they want to pursue horses.  It must be child-driven.  It is not a good idea to push your child into any sport, but especially horses, since they are expensive, time consuming, and are a living, breathing being in need of care.  And I always advise them to have their child take lessons as long as possible before buying a horse.  If they aren't begging to do it, you could find yourself owning a horse that isn't getting enough attention.

You might think that because I am a life-long horse person, and an instructor, that my kids were loping around while still in diapers.  Nope.  With my own children, I have taken it slow.  Yes, we have ten horses here, and they have been out in the barn since they were infants, 'helping' with chores, and riding with me or being led on our old-timers.  But I have not given them a whole lot of lessons yet.  My boys are four and five, and my five year old has Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism.  Until this year, he has had much difficulty following directions, and has been known to have meltdowns when faced with something frustrating.  Rather than push him to do it, and risk ruining the experience for him, I have chosen to wait and let him ask me to do it, keeping his experiences on horseback as short and as sweet as possible; such as when we had his birthday party last November and invited his entire preschool class out for a party and to go for rides around the yard on Jazz, one of our old horses.  Not only did his classmates have fun, Miles got to show off what he knew about horses, and he was very proud to do that.

Recently, we acquired a miniature horse named Sugar, who is broke to ride and drive, and has had lots of experience toting kids around.  Both of the boys LOVE him, and the effects of having him here were immediate.  Both boys talk about the horses more, whether it is what color horses are, naming the equipment used, what they need to do to care for them, or even just role playing with their horse toys.  They are gaining confidence in working around Sugar, leading him, grooming him, riding him, and taking the lines when we are driving him.  I am hoping to take them to a local show this spring, even if it is just for the leadline class.  No pressure, no matter how much their mom might want them to join her in the horse world.  My intention is that their love for horses will come from within themselves, even while my husband and I stoke the fire.

My four yr old son, Owen, leading his beloved Sugar.

Buck and My Bucket List

Last night I saw the movie “Buck” at a local art theater, and was completely blown away. “Buck” is a documentary detailing the life and continuing work of Buck Brannaman, a highly esteemed clinician and horseman. Though I have never attended one of his clinics, I was somewhat familiar with his methods, so I had a few ideas about what to expect from the movie; however, I was happily surprised to discover so much more about him than how he uses a rope halter or how he conducts his clinics. I came away inspired, motivated, and with something new to add to my personal bucket list.

Buck and his brother lived the early parts of his childhood being abused by his father, which became nearly unbearable after their mother died. Their father was an alcoholic and a mean, punitive man, to the point that both boys lived in terror every day, until a gym teacher discovered whip marks on Buck's back, and intervened to have both boys placed in foster care. The family that took them in had rescued many boys through fostering them, and it was there that Buck finally found love and began to heal. They lived on a ranch, and Buck learned to ride a horse, and in turn, set on the path that would be his life's calling. Eventually, he discovered the renowned horseman Ray Hunt, and found a way to work with horses that wasn't forceful or coercive. Buck thrived in this knowledge, and saw himself in the horses, who needed understanding and a chance to do the right thing, rather than being treated as something that needed to be controlled at all costs. It has been his life's mission to help other people reach their horses through good solid horsemanship based on “feel,” and give them the tools to make their horses', and their own, lives better.

I have been giving lessons and training horses since I was a teenager, and I have said, often lamenting, that 90% of what I do is to be a psychologist for the the rider. In order to fix a horse's problem, you first have to fix, or at least face, your own. Horses operate on honesty; they can instantly assess where you are coming from, and what your personal modus operandi is. They know who you are in your heart, and behave accordingly. Watching “Buck” last night, I was struck yet again by how true this is. At one point, a woman brings a horse to a clinic that is truly vicious – I have lived my whole life only seeing one or two horses that were actually so dangerous as to warrant that they be put down, and this horse was definitely that exactly. While the story is tragic and unsettling, what is so great is that Buck is able to tell this woman how it is, and just nails the description of where she has gone wrong. I know that he was doing her a favor in telling her the truth, and most likely saved her life, or someone else's – and certainly, putting this horse down did the horse a favor too. It was impossible to work on the horse's feet, give him vet care, and had anyone tried to make this horse obey, no doubt the horse would have eventually been the loser in the fight.

After the movie, I was left with a renewed sense of purpose in my own life. I have also faced my share of painful adversity in my life, and clung to horses as a way to make sense in this chaotic world. I also have a natural ability to communicate to riders what the horse needs from them, and I also want horses to be treated with more respect and kindness from their human counterparts. While there is no doubt that Buck Brannaman is exceptional at what he does, I think that he would agree that we all can be exceptional in our own way, and through horses, we can heal ourselves and others. So, I have added a new entry to my bucket list: someday I want to ride in one of Buck's clinics, and hopefully, gain more insight into what makes him great. Until then, I will continue work toward elevating my game every time I step into the barn.

Happy trails, and take care!

An Ode to the Humble Lesson Horse

The other day I wrote about what different aspects of mental and physical preparation have on becoming proficient in the saddle when beginning to ride.  Today I'd like to explore the other half to the riding equation - the horse.  In order to create a great partnership while riding, you must have a willing and engaged equine partner.  When starting out as a riding student, you probably won't know all the differences in horse behavior, other than extreme cases, and therefore must rely on the honesty and trustworthiness of others to give you a fair assessment of your potential mount.  I hope to arm you with some things to look for so that you can make decisions for your own safety.

Having lived my entire life in the horse industry, and giving lessons for close to twenty years, I have found that nothing will stop a potential rider from continuing their riding education faster than a really traumatic wreck on horse.  Keep in mind, there is a big difference between falling off and getting thrown, and for some, falling off itself is too scary for them, and therefore, horseback riding may not be their sport.  Falling off a horse is as much a part of riding as falling is to learning to surf or snow ski, and those sports aren't for everyone either.  What I am referring to is a true wreck - where the horse runs off uncontrollably, the rider gets stomped on, or dumped into a tree, fence, or another equally unforgiving object.  A wreck usually results in a hospital visit and a memory for the rider that causes a fear and distrust of horses that can remain for a lifetime.

My goal as an instructor has always been to prevent that sort of thing from happening and keep those people riding, and thus, in our industry.  Whenever someone comes to me with a scary story of how they once got hurt while riding, and they never got on a horse again, I ask them as many questions as I can.  Whose horse was it?  Were there any adults/competent riders around helping you?  Had you ridden or taken lessons prior to your accident?  Overwhelmingly, the wreck was a result of people riding horses that they shouldn't be riding, without any instruction or oversight, and riding them in a manner that just begs for them to get hurt.  For example, I have a very close friend who has told me over and over how she just loves horses, but is terrified of them.  Come to find out, when she was a teenager, she and two friends decided to ride one of the friends horses bareback - all three of them - all around a farm, all day long, by themselves.  Eventually, the poor horse got sick of carrying the three of them around and dumped them, and my friend was stepped on in the process.  Can you blame it?  Clearly, an adult should have stepped up and told the girls to give the horse a break.  There are thousands of similar stories out there, and they represent a huge loss to the horse industry in potential horse owners.  All of those people wanted to be a rider, but their initial interactions scared them off.

So, one preventative is to take lessons from a professional instructor.  Do not assume that your neighbor, who can ride really well, in your eyes, is capable of teaching you or your children to ride.  Nor should you assume that the horse or pony that someone else's kid can ride all over and run barrels on is a safe mount for you or your children.  There are many, many gradations of training for horses, and just because it is impressive to see a little kid jumping fences or loping around, doesn't mean that that horse is quiet and responsive enough to gently and conscientiously carry a beginner.  Taking lessons, rather than jumping in and buying a horse right away, also gives you the advantage of trying different lesson horses and figuring out what you want in your own horse, and could save you a lot of money, time and heartache.

Lesson horses are a breed apart.  They are tolerant of beginner mistakes, obedient in the face of temptation, and do not spontaneously follow an urge to flit off on their own accord.  It takes many years of experience for a horse to be seasoned in this way.  While younger horses may provide a fun challenge for intermediate and advanced riders, the best horses for beginners are generally over the age of ten, and have a long record of taking care of their riders.  I personally think that fifteen is a golden number for beginner horses; they are calmer, still have plenty of life left and by then, have proven themselves in what their personality is like. 

When you are investigating possible riding instructors, you should be asking lots of questions about the lesson horses you will be using.  How many are available to use?  The more, the better, as not every horse is going to fit you personally, and the more you have to choose from, the better the odds of finding one that makes your riding experience safer and more fun.  Also, how often are the lesson horses ridden, by students and by the instructor themselves?  Lesson horses that are ridden more than an hour daily by students tend to get sour; it is challenging to carry someone around who has no balance and is accidentally jerking your mouth or whacking you indiscriminately with their legs!  Also, after being ridden day after day by beginners, they may fall into bad habits and really benefit from an occasional ride by the instructor, or equally qualified advanced rider, as a tune up.  The frequency of these tune ups will vary by horse, but my opinion is that they should get a tune up once or twice a month minimum.

When doing your investigations, take a good look at how the lesson horses are kept.  Do they get frequent turn out?  Turn out in a large paddock or pasture is like a little mental vacation for a horse, and the more they get, the quieter they are.  Are they in good flesh and are their feet taken care of?  You should not be able to see every rib and hipbone; the horses should look muscled and fit.  And their feet should have a cleanly trimmed appearance, without ragged edges or cracks.  Does the instructor insist on using fly spray, for the comfort of the horses, and for your safety?  Horses being bothered by flies stomp, toss their heads, and frequently kick and buck to get rid of the bugs, and can endanger anyone close by.  Fly spray isn't just a comfort, it is a safety device.  Horses cannot do their jobs well if they are not physically well-kept, nor should anyone be supplying income to instructors that don't do right by their horses.  If they can't do these simple things for their horses, what other shortcuts will they take, with their equipment, facility and with you or your child?

Please do not judge your lesson horse by what color they are, or how pretty (or not pretty) they are.  Pretty is as pretty does.  I have seen the plainest, most non-descript grade horses that were fabulous to ride, because they were compliant, handy, and, most importantly, gentle to their riders.  Keep an open mind as to what a good horse LOOKS like, but scrutinize closely what a good horse ACTS like - it will serve you much better!

Take care and have fun!

PS - You have heard me say it before and you will hear me say it again - wear a helmet!  If you fall off (which you inevitably will) you can recover from a bruise or a broken arm, but a head injury can be catastrophic.  A good instructor cares about the safety of their riders and requires helmets of every minor, and may require, or at least strongly suggest, them for adults.  For more on my stance on helmets, read this.

Are We There Yet?

I got a great question from a new rider today: How long will it take me to learn to ride?  I have been asked this many times, by both parents of young riders, and by adults just getting into our sport.  The question is a sign of the student's impatience to get in there and ride, and is really like the kids in the backseat on a road trip, asking, "Are we there yet??"  The answer to this question is best framed by more questions; How fit are you? How much time do you have per week to practice?  How often do you intend on taking lessons?  How well does your instructor motivate you to learn new things, and also review what you already know?  What is your attitude towards learning challenging things? 

Those with experience with horses can easily see why being fit helps a rider progress; if you are reasonably fit, you have an easier time getting on, have more flexibility and balance, faster reflexes and don't get winded as easily.  New riders don't realize how important this facet is, and often give up quickly because they get so tired and sore after their first few rides.  Being prepared beforehand, and doing a lot of stretching afterward, are keys to sticking with it.

As with any new endeavor, the time you spend on it is one of the most important determining factors in achieving success.  You can't learn to play an instrument well if you only pick it up once a week.  Daily practice is best, but if you don't have that much extra time, or don't own your own horse yet, get in as much riding time as you can.  Try to take a formal lesson once or twice a week, and then, negotiate with your instructor to borrow a horse for non-lesson practice time where you can just ride on your own (don't be offended if they don't feel you are far enough along that you shouldn't be riding alone yet; consider it their way of keeping you safe).  Keep at it, and keep your expectations reasonable - it will take months of riding several times a week before you could really be considered proficient.

Having a good instructor in your corner is absolutely invaluable.  A good trainer has beginner safety as their first priority, and therefore, may end up telling you, "No, you can't do that yet," more than you want to hear in the beginning.  A good instructor will start with basic concepts and build on them with every lesson, always pushing you to do something a bit better or a bit more daring, but will keep reviewing the basic concepts to drive home their importance.  A good instructor teaches you how to be a good horse owner and advocate, so expect to spend some time on the ground learning about horse care, equine body language, groundwork, first aid, and a myriad of other topics.  If you get the chance to assist the shoer or the vet, or even just observe, you will undoubtedly learn something. Watching your instructor, or other students, ride is also fantastic for picking things up or confirming what you are learning.

More than anything, your attitude will determine your learning curve.  To state the obvious, to be a good rider, you need to be a good student.  You need to be able to take direction.  You need to be able to face your shortcomings and faults when presented to you by an almost total stranger - remember, you are paying them to tell you what you are doing wrong!  You need to be willing to do things over and over that are frustrating because you can't get it quite right.  You might have to try something you haven't done, or may not completely understand, based on your faith in your instructor alone.  Above all, you have to have perseverance.  No one ever got anywhere in horseback riding by getting frustrated and quitting.  You have to just keep getting back on; even if your last ride was terrible, you're tired, it's hot/cold out, etc.  The greatest rewards are the ones you have to work hard for.

And your attitude will sustain you; anyone who is a lifelong rider knows that you are never truly done learning to ride.  Being a better horseman is something everyone is always working on, from the person who just trail rides, to the professional trainer who is always working to perfect their technique.  There is always something to improve, brush up on, or a new direction to go.  Riding horses is endlessly inspiring, and you could spend a lifetime learning new things about them! 

You notice I haven't said anything about the horses themselves....well, I haven't forgotten them.  Tomorrow I will cover what you should be looking for in lesson horses, and your first horse.  Have a wonderful day!

A Trainer Of Merit

So often we get stuck on the negative things in life - the things that go wrong, the injustices that we want to make right, the people that drive us crazy, and all the bad things in life that we feel powerless over.  This morning I would like to focus on the positive, and tell you about someone who has had a very positive impact on my life.  His name is Lee Mancini, and he runs a horse training facility in Howell, Michigan.

Lee trains Arabians, Half Arabians, and Quarter Horses and focuses on reining, stock seat equitation, and western pleasure, but because he is a very well-rounded horseman, he is able to assist customers with their english (hunter under saddle) horses too.  Lee is very talented with a horse; he has won many National, Regional and show championships, and is able to achieve great things in his horses by taking things one step at a time, layering the training and not blowing his horses minds (or bodies).  He is effective without being a bully, and is the kind of trainer that you can trust to respect your animal.

Yet, I think what his customers appreciate the most about Lee is his attitude. He is honest.  He is funny and easy to talk to.  He treats all of his customers the same, regardless of how much, or how little, they have to spend.  He absolutely will tell you what your horse can and can't do, and will send it home, or help you sell it, if he feels it can't do the job.  He has a keen eye for good horses, and can match people to their perfect mount.  Soundness is of the utmost importance to him, and he doesn't take shortcuts.  His stable is organized and efficient, and he is not one to waste his client's money.  He has a excellent, well-deserved reputation, and I have never heard anyone say anything bad about him, because he consistently keeps it professional.

I started riding with Lee when I was a pre-teen, and stayed with him until I went to college.  Riding with Lee was wonderful; he never lost his patience and wasn't ever the kind of trainer to yell or belittle or intimidate - which can be just crushing to a teenager.  At the same time, he wasn't flowery with his praise or over the top with his compliments; in fact, he isn't one to blow sunshine all the time, which makes you really want to ride better for him.  A compliment from him was really worth something to me.  I can honestly say that riding with him shaped me as a person and as a trainer/instructor.  He still is an example to me of what a good trainer is like and how they should treat both people and horses. 

Nowadays, horse trainers with DVDs, million dollar earnings, gimmicks and big names get lots of attention, but I think people are beginning to see that those things don't necessarily make a really good trainer, nor do they make for someone that you want to do business with.  There are plenty of great trainers out there who are more than just flash and bling.  I feel so lucky to have learned the difference early in life, and Lee Mancini was the trainer who taught me that.  Please check out his website here, and if you already know Lee, please leave a comment here, and help me sing his praises.

Have a wonderful day!